24k

The garden is starting to get that bursting-at-the-seams look that can excite and bewilder.  Everything's growing exponentially because of a recent rain after some good hot days.  The weeds too, unfortunately.  But ever since I realized Square Foot Gardening was the way to go (thanks, Mommy), weeding isn't too bad.  

Understand that I am a fair-weather gardener; I sweat just standing still so if it's really hot, there's no way I'm spending any real time Out There.  I have five 4x4' boxes and I can weed all 80 square feet (math!) in about 20 minutes.  Even I can deal with that.  Not that I'm going to today because, hello! It's H-U-M-I-D out there which is worse than hot.  Wet underwear weather, people. 

(too much?)

HOWEVER,  I did spend 3 minutes picking today.  Here's what I picked:

What's more than a bunch?  That would be a shit ton.

Woo-hoo!!  This is the very best part of vegetable gardening, apart from the eating.  Is there nothing more miraculous than planting an itty-bitty-teeny-weeny seed (and carrot seeds are even smaller than that) and getting something this big THAT YOU CAN EAT?

I know!!

And I haven't always had the best luck with carrots so this is even more exciting.  Here are some more pictures of the beauties.

Small, Medium, and LARGE!

Here at Topp-Down Organic Farm, we specialize in Saucy Mutant-Limbed Carrots!

And more demure mutant-limbed ones (who might have to go to the bathroom)

And sea creatures!

And there are still pretty many carrots still out there growing in the garden!! How will I ever be able to use this many?  HOW??!!

SERIOUSLY??  Is that ALL??  Let's break it down:  $2.50 in seeds to wait 2 months to grow the amount of organic carrots I usually spend $3 on at the grocery store?!  

Clearly, not a bargain.  (And how do carrot farmers make ANY money?)

SO MANY CARROTS!  not really.

However, I'm also clearly not just in it for the cheap.  I love the planning, the watching-it-grow, and the harvesting.  It's psychically satisfying.  And I know I'll be really really happy when the tomatoes ripen and I'm no longer spending $2 on one decent tomato.  

Tomatoes are a bargain.

And lots of ...compost material!  Even Rosie looks perplexed.

 What's on the horizon for this garden:

Potatoes are located in that ka-lassy tire back there.  Check out this space-saving technique!

Tomatoes, eggplant, cucumbers, more arugula, more chard (and more chard, and more chard), basil, lemon thyme, cauliflower, brussels sprouts, canteloupe, pumpkins, blueberries, sunflowers, asparagus (in 3 years), potatoes, lettuce, acorn squash, and more carrots!  

And that's just this summer!  I'm determined to try my hand at some carpentry with a cold frame from old windows to grow some winter greens, beets and broccoli.


Until then, I'll be making carrot salad, arugula topped pizza, artichoke and chard dip, and many many platters of caprese salad.  And more things topped with chard.  And arugula.  And chard.  You get the picture.

What I've Been Up To

Riding around in a pick-up truck with these knuckleheads

To get these

To make this

Look more like this

And FINALLY, after much looking, finding this

And making plans to turn it into an After  so we can enjoy more of this

Finally, 

tending to this

 So I can make more of these.

I hope your Summer is as sweet as mine is so far!

FINALLY

 See?  {Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge}.

 

We have tomatoes! My plants are HUGE and have been full of large green tomatoes for what seems like months but they're finally FINALLY ripening.

And some of them suck.

SADNESS.

Because I am an erratic record-keeper when it comes to my gardening (and, okay, my life), I can't remember two of the tomatoes I planted.  I mean I remember planting them, but I have no idea what kind they are.  They are both "heirloom" and therefore, supposedly tastier.  Supposedly is the key word here because the red ones taste exactly like nothing.  A wet nothing.  The other one, which is a beautiful yellow (and HUGE) are delicious.  So it would be helpful if I remembered their names because there is no way in hell I would buy the first one again and the second one is a Must Plant for next year.  Oh well.

I do remember the name of the third plant for some reason.  It's called a {Green Zebra} and they are a small tomato--not cherry-size but small. They are gorgeous and delicious when fully-ripened or not.  I got {rully rully} excited and thought they were ripe because they were this awesome bright yellow with the green stripes and were delicious like that but then I just found some that had turned red (wow!  a red tomato!  ...this is the kind of gardener I am) and they too were delish.   But holy crap, I just checked the link I just sent you to and they're supposed to be yellow so now I'm totally confused.

See the stripes?  Cute and delicious!  Like Robert Pattinson! And my husband!

 Again: organized.  That's me.

So anyway, I picked all these ripe tomatoes and then wondered what the hell to do with them because 3/4 of them tasted like the aforementioned nothing.  I pondered the crazy amount of tomatoes that taste like nothing that I have coupled with the impressive amounts of tomatoes that taste fantastic that I have and had my yearly "Why do I plant so many tomatoes when I'm the only one in the house that really really likes them?" conversation with myself.  


So I made some {roasted tomatoes}.  And HALLELUJA they are phenomenal.  Unbelievably delish.  EVEN THE NOTHING ONES. Now I've had roasted tomatoes before and loved them but assumed they had to be made from tomatoes that tasted like tomatoes to be good.  But ALL OF THEM were delicious.  Scrumptious even.  They were so good that after I peeled off all the skins in preparation to freeze said tomatoes, I ate the skins.  They were that good.

 This looks awful.  It is glorious.

You can't tell this pan is clean (because it's old and seen a lot of action) but it is.

Because I licked it.

I wish I were kidding.

With the other yellow tomato that tastes good all on its own without embellishment, I made an old standby from {Farmgirl}.  You absolutely must click on {this} or {this} or {this} because you need to make this: 

Behold, a thing of biscuity beauty.

It's made out of biscuit dough, people, so how could it be bad?  My kids even like it even though they are ridiculous and pick out the tomatoes but still. (So technically I guess that means they like pesto, biscuit and cheese but whatever.)  I sacrifice myself and eat their scraped-out tomatoes that still have some pesto on them because I am above all, selfless.

Farmgirl's Savory Tomato Pesto Pie
Makes One 9-Inch Pie
Pesto (homemade or store-bought)

For The Crust:
2 cups all-purpose flour
4 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup (1 stick/ 4 ounces) cold butter
1 cup (about 2-1/2 ounces) finely grated pecorino romano (or other hard cheese)
3/4 cup milk

Combine the flour, baking powder, and salt in a medium bowl. Mix in the butter using a pastry blender, fork, or your fingers until the largest pieces are pea-size. Stir in the pecorino romano. Pour in the milk and use a fork to gently form a soft dough. Do not overmix. Divide the dough in two pieces, making one slightly larger than the other.

On a generously floured surface, use a rolling pin to gently roll out the larger piece of dough into a circle about 12 inches across, rolling from the center outward. Sprinkle dough with flour if sticky. Gently fold the dough in half and transfer into a 9-inch pie pan. If the dough tears, simply press it back together with your fingers. Roll out the remaining piece of dough into a slightly smaller circle and set aside (or wait until you have the filling in the pan and then roll it out).

Assembling The Pie:
1 cup pesto, divided
2-1/2 pounds of the best plum tomatoes you can find, sliced lengthwise into 4 or 5 slices each
8 ounces mozzarella, grated or thinly sliced (I used fresh which can't be grated)
1/2 cup (about 1-1/4 ounces) finely grated pecorino romano (or other hard cheese)

Using a spoon, spread 1/2 cup of pesto over the bottom layer of dough in the pie pan. Layer about half of the tomatoes over the pesto. Cover the tomatoes with about 2/3 of the mozzarella. Layer on the rest of the tomatoes (you may not need them all to fill the pan). Carefully spread the remaining 1/2 cup of pesto over the tomatoes. Cover with the remaining mozzarella and the pecorino romano.

Roll out the second piece of dough if you haven't already, and carefully place it over the pie. Fold the edge of the bottom piece over the top piece and press together to seal. Use your fingers to make a crimped design around the edge. If any dough falls apart, simply press it back together with your fingers. Don't worry if it isn't perfect. The handmade look has much more charm. Cut four slits in the top of the pie for steam to escape. Bake at 375 degrees F in the center of the oven until the crust is golden brown, about 40 minutes. Cover the edge with foil if it starts to brown too quickly.

It freezes beautifully.

The Idiotic Gardener

Remember that "baby cucumber?" Do you, Laura? Well, I INSISTED it was a baby cucumber even though EVERYONE said yo, that's a ZUCCHINI, dumb ass. Well, we were both wrong and we were both right.

WHAT?! you say?

not mine but just here to illustrate dumb-assedness

Turns out that ONE of the plants was a cucumber and one of it is a PUMPKIN VINE! So you squash-insisters were partially correct (although the flowers for the cumumber plant are the same as the squash one. Weird.). No it's not some miracle of science. I mixed up my seedlings because I am, at best, disorganized in my personal life.

Anyhoo, I'm super-psyched because now I can have crispy yummy salads AND I can carve some vegetables into crazy toothless grins. AWESOME!

More Garden Serenity

I have no idea what these purple flowers are called.

They and their foliage are so pretty-- and they never seem to die.

Baby cucumber

Because of this wonderful weather
I have a ton of lettuce that doesn't bolt right away.


Grape tomatoes that will, no doubt, not make it

to the inside of the house.

This broccoli was so delicious on top of some homemade pizza.
Why does it taste better when you grow it yourself?

I love mint.
And I finally got smart and planted it in a container
so it wouldn't go wild.
There are 3 varieties in one pot: spearmint, apple mint,
and chocolate mint.
Whoever developed this variety was a horticultural genius.



And this was just thrown in because who doesn't enjoy

a little child labor?
The Boy slices paper into bar mitzvah programs.
This was the only job he had to do for the big day.
He complained incessantly.

Apparently he HAS become a man.

I thought it would be fun to take a break from worrying and photograph

some of my gardening efforts.

I'm no master at this but it makes me unbelievably happy to plant things

and then, holy crap, watch them actually GROW.

Incredible.

Let's take a look, shall we?

This bed came out so pretty, I think, and it was completely accidental.

It's shady but the previous owners had planted a huge mass black-eyed Susans which I love, but since the weeping cherry above it has grown,

it's even shadier so they're sort of dwindling.

In their place I've planted some hostas from my friend Ray, along with perilla from Judy.

I love the way the chartreusey hostas look with the purple perilla.

My favorite flower is the daisy. I love how happy they look

and the fact that they really do stay fresh for a long time.

We had daisies as the main flower at our wedding even though someone told me that

"daisies are not appropriate for a wedding."

It was the first time I ever asserted myself with this person when I said

"they are if it's my wedding,"

And I thank them for that.

We pause here for some good-natured barking. Hi Annie!


This is a really small allium I planted a couple years ago.

Every year i have to remind myself not to pull the thing that looks like wild onions in this spot because it's this allium.

Clearly, I'm not a genius.

Last week I was listening to Alexis and Jennifer

and Alexis was pontificating as she does about someone's dreadful landscaping,

complaining about all the "decorative grasses" that are "actually" weeds.
Really? Who cares 'cause I love them.

And I'm pretty sure Martha does too.

These are the only flowers in the world, practically, that I call by their latin name in my head

(and I think about flowers in my head a lot.

I know it's weird, but to me it's weirdly calming).

I can't remember the name of the variety

even though I think it's really special with that pompom in the middle.

Anyhoo, this here's an echinacea or a coneflower to you yahoos.

Behold, the "common" coneflower. It's not open yet but I love it like this.

I'm fascinated by how the petals unfurl.

Nature is cool.

Okay. You can see I like those echinacea/coneflowers, can't you. This time I DO remember the name of the variety though. This one's called Coconut Lime.

Now you know why I remember it.
yummmmm....

This is my little herb patch, aka Murry McGlaughlin's urinal (yes, he's a dog).

We don't eat much of the herbs here (see previous sentence), but they sure look pretty.

This is sage, lavender, lamb's ears, parsley, chives, and a volunteer chamomile.

This is a patch of the retarded garden.

I planted this plant (no idea the name), not remembering that it flowered
(I liked the leaves)

and then for some reason I planted

every other yellow flower I've ever seen here too.

The flowers in the bed are pretty but it looks like

it was planted by

someone who had a head injury

and

could only see the color yellow.

This is one of my few annuals. I love this flower and don't know it's name.

It comes in a few different shades of purple and pink and I try to plant it every year in this pot with the alberta spruce and another annual I can't remember the name of that I love that's periwinkle blue and shaped like a little daisy.

Speaking of that mystery little periwinkle daisy, every year I go to Country Lawnscapes Nursery and say to the owner, "Do you have that little daisy that has *a name like an old English lady?"

She always knows what I mean and she at least waits until I leave

to talk about what a moron I am.

I love her.

Now we're moving out of the garden and back into the house to look at a few things that also make me smile. Candy. Lots of it.

And sweets from sweet people.

And the fact that these are all from a wonderful day we had with family and friends.

Before the crap hit the fan.

Forgive the crappy picture. The cap was adorable too. And DELICIOUS?

Oh yes, because some were left over and...lost...and subsequently found in my bed. Yeah...

Anyway, each kid got one of these babies to take home and we're so thankful

we had them to give.

Of all the things I did/made/bought for this bar mitzvah, these Zero bars are what made The Boy really happy.

Who knew this is what it would take to make the kid who never really gives a shit about anything except his video games and his friends and oh yeah, I guess his family (after his pets), actually get excited??

I did because I am an exceptional mother who heard him not mumble that they were his favorite one day when we were in Walmart.

So I bought 18 the next day.

And he smiled and hugged me.

Zero bars are now my favorite.

Here's the whole arrangement before the onslaught.

My cousin's 7 year old kept saying "Can I have some now? Can I have some now? Can I have some NOW?" an hour and a half before everyone got there and we were setting up.

And because I am a wonderful person I said

"No way kid. Go chase yourself."

One last picture of sugary goodness. These bowls contain boxed (HORRORS!) cake batter that has been tinted Roy G. Biv (except for the indigo).

The finished and cut cake was as amazing-looking as the uncooked batter but

I didn't get a picture because by that time

I was half in the bag from bar mitzvah margaritas and good cheer.

It didn't taste as good as it looked but I'm a sucker for packaging.

*Holy crap, I just remembered the name! The adorable perwinkle daisy is called a Felicia! woo-hoo! Not that you care because it's not even, like, pictured here. I was just excited. Whatever.

Some Cool Vegetables I've Wanted to Post and a Couple More Gratutious Annie Pictures

Here is a picture of my favorite Dollar Tree mug. It is a large mug.

Next to it are two sweet potatoes.

One of them is normal-sized.

Why plant carrots that are reddish-purple outside

even though they're a normal orange color inside?

Because they are cool and named Purple Haze.

My gardening technique is very scientific.

Annie, meeting Molly and Pam,

who brought a "baby gift" for her and one for her "brother," Muttel.

My friends are as crazy as I am

and I love them for it.

Annie goes to Mrs. Wagner's class.

Mrs. Wagner, pictured here, is way too attractive

to be an elementary teacher.

The kids loved meeting Annie

and I was very pleased that she didn't return the love

by leaving a "present" on the floor.

One kid kept saying "EWWWWW!!" at the top of her lungs

everytime Annie gave someone a kiss.

This kid doesn't have a dog at home.

I think not allowing a child to have a pet is

a particularly nasty form of child abuse.