Why do another FPF? Well, even though I've been faithful to one man for almost 22 years, apparently in my fantasy life I'm sort of fickle. AND IT'S FUN.
I was going to name this FPF Cougar Edition until I realized that only one of the entries was slightly inappropriate (and only slightly...he IS legal!!)
So perhaps this whole mid-crisis thing is nothing to worry about. Go me!
Without further ado....
#1 still-reigning champion...
stop looking at me like that, you saucy minx
Why is Ewan number 1? Well, it's not because of his latest movies, that's for sure. Not only have they been abysmal (even I couldn't finish them), they've been American which, as you know, usually means we see no frontal nudity. And let's face it, he does always have that to fall back on in a pinch.
Nope, it's got to be that cheeky grin, that Scottish accent, that willingness to show a feminine side, that adventurous spirit...and have you seen his full frontal?
#2 Robert Pattinson
I know, I know...it's disgraceful. I could be his mother (if I was a slut when I was 16 which is something that everyone who knew me then knew I wished I was but instead was "everyone's friend, nobody's lover," alright, yes, Mom, you're right I know, I know!!).
I'm sorry..where was I? Right. Yes, I am "too old" for him. Yes, he can look kind of girly at times. Yes there are those stinky rumors. But all this tells me is that
he must be taught.
#3 Craig Ferguson
I have no bloody idea why this picture is so small
because my Craig is very very BIG (I'm talking about his height here, people...)...). But I think this picture nonetheless sums up his suaveness, his debonnaireness....actually, he seems to be none of those things (if, in fact, that second one is a word). He is a big goof ball. A smarty pants who acts dumb but isn't. A great Scotsman with a flair for the perverse.
And not too hard on the eyes as well.
#4 Anthony Bourdain
nice joint, Tony
(teehee...dirty foodie humor!)
(teehee...dirty foodie humor!)
Now this one is odd, even for me. Because although I find Tony here attractive---he's got great legs, a nice snarky sense of humor, he's smart--I actually really want to be him. He's got the most awesome job ever. He travels. He parties. He eats. He apparently has the best metabolism known to man or woman.
Does that mean I want to free pass five with myself?
#5 Dave Grohl
This may be my weirdest one yet. I LOVE DAVE, don't get me wrong. But I think I want to have sex with his mind more than anything else. Is that too graphic? It's just that he's so talented (for this I'm willing to overlook his dreaded gum-chewing)---he's amazing musically, he's got a wicked sense of humor, he's nice, and he makes me smile when I'm running. Maybe I want to be his best friend.
Who occasionally snuggles.
BONUS LESBIAN ADDITION:
Look at her. She's magnificent. I would forgo the rest of her if I could just have her shoulders (as my own...not as some kind of creepy trophy). But, like Davey Baby above, I must admit that I'd really like to have her as a friend. She seems so cool. So normal. So fun.
I would have to make a No Ben rule when we went out though.
He seems like a douche..
See? She's not perfect! Love her.