the gregarious homebody


Sunday, March 1, 2009

Right Now, Right Here

from here
My intent with this blog has always been to be a kind of journal, filled with whatever was on my mind or tickled my fancy. I thought it could be about me, me, me. And I am a complete idiot to not realize that what "me" is still all about my children.
S is in the crapper again and AGAIN it's because of lying. Helping to shape a young person's character is exhausting. I thought it was taxing to my sanity that I had to say "Say thank you" or "Eat with your mouth closed" 4,507,243 times a year, all the while thinking to myself (and occasionally saying out loud), "It's not like I've never told you this BEFORE!" But that was just developing manners. Repetition is almost guaranteed to work. The success in correcting this behavior is a crap shoot (heavy on the crap). You can repeat the mantra "Lying about doing something wrong is worse than the wrong thing you've done" a zillion times since they are young enough to understand it, but still they try.
This time S's nontruth involved teachers and school projects and made up data for a science competition. In reality, making up the data was probably harder work than just doing it the right way. As my friend Lynn, put it, it would be so much better if he wasn't such an Evil Genius and that he'd use his powers for good.
He has been taken off the honor roll and, thankfully, that means something to him. Learning about honor first-hand might (pleasepleasepleaseplease) make an impact on him to help understand what building character means. I'm hoping it does.
But I've had to remind myself how hard these years are when your body is ahead of your mind in development. Everything is all confused. I can remember thinking to myself, I want my mommy and in the very next breath wondering WHY she treated me like SUCH A CHILD.
Anyhoo, even though I would love to have this blog be more about things like baking, decorating, and hell, even organizing under my sink (I find all that domestic shit so soothing...), I guess this is life for me right now.
And I hope you stick with me.

9 comments:

Bea said...

No matter how many times we repeat or set an example (which is worth more than words) they'll eventually fall... many parents choose to give up and look the other side... I think it is bravier and harder, although not cool for our children, to repeat and teach... sooner or later, they will become honest and good doing human beings...

JUDY said...

...harder to make up data than get real data. So funny! So typical of your darling, thick headed and CLUELESS boy!! What makes him so delicious, even though I am mad at him for you!

jen said...

I think my boy needs to know there's light at the end of the tunnel. Endless groundings provide no reason for doing the right thing, I think. Told him after NEXT Monday he gets everything back with conditions. Also told him that HE HAS THE POWER to never be grounded again.

We'll see...

drollgirl said...

oh, kids are so damn DIFFICULT. but don't worry, i'm with ya and yer blog!

and your writing is much more interesting than all of the damn blogs dedicated to pretty things and unaffordable decor and all of that crap. ANYBODY can take pics from a magazine and say how pretty they are. your stuff is more interesting, for sure.

jen said...

WOW. THANK you!

adozeneggs said...

I don't have kids, but I was one and I remember the lying and the punishments. I guess we all have to get that bad stuff out of us when we're young. Either that or I was a horrible child and have become a horrible adult.
I can't imagine being a parent. Here I think it's tough training a dog.
Also, I want to agree with Drollgirl. I linger around many blogs and I am so bored with blogs serving as advertisements. I mean, my blog is to promote my business but it's got lots of personal stuff and at least my pics are of things that I've made with me own two hands.
Part of the fun is getting to know new and interesting people. And there's that voyeuristic aspect.
Are you on "my face"? (as HS likes to call it)

jen said...

Nope. C'mon on mine!

Chrisy said...

..love the sketch...and yes think we have to always remember how we felt at that age and then we really can't go wrong...

sallymandy said...

What could ever be more close to "me" than our children? Ahh. I get it. It's so humbling. They are so much us, and what they do is such a reflection on us. Well, speak for myself. That's my experience. I think you sound like a reasonable and very caring mom.

And I agree with what Drollgirl said, too.

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