Happy Birthday!

How to Bar Mitzvah on a Budget: PART ONE

This economic crisis has made everyone shaky. We're not unique in trying to save money in general let alone for a major family celebration. The difference between the every day and the celebration budgetting is that I like throwing this party on the cheap. If I won the lottery perhaps I would do some things differently, but honestly, probably not too much. It's so personal this way and relaxed, like us.

1. Be a chef:: it certainly helps to be able to order food wholesale and then to cook it yourself with a little help from your friends

2. Invitations:: design your own based on fancy-schmancy ones you found online and get a stay-at-home/graphic designer to recreate them and then be lucky enough to have found new bloggy friends who are both generous and awesome who will set you up with a printer.

3. Be a regular shopper at The Dollar Tree and IKEA:: decorations and cool cactus margarita glasses for $1 each, pots for centerpieces $2 each

4. Have a friend with a tent business:: where the words "for friends and family we charge..." are sweet words indeed

5. Know a great photographer:: who loves to take pictures even though she's really a school teacher (knowing that one of your best friends has used her almost exclusively for all her kids' pictures since they were babies)

Young man...

http://www.gq.com/

...we must discuss this naughty habit.

Over dinner.

Alone.

My Girl

...longs for her own home in the middle of trees with animals and privacy.


...likes to talk for the animals and always has them call me Mama.

Mom and girl time at a local tea shop


...told me that of course I can live where she does when she grows up. In fact, I can live in her mansion.


...isn't sure what she wants to be when she grows up but wanted to know if bartending was okay.


...is not always sweet or kind or loving but is always interesting.

we both love to watch the cream swirl


...has a deadly sense of humor.


...is not a morning person.


...marches to her own drummer.


...could not only survive forever on a desert island but also be fully accessorized within the first half hour.

...loves to sing.


...still lets me hold her hand as long as she's the one who makes the first move.


...still likes me even though I embarrass her sometimes.

Right Now, Right Here

from here

My intent with this blog has always been to be a kind of journal, filled with whatever was on my mind or tickled my fancy. I thought it could be about me, me, me. And I am a complete idiot to not realize that what "me" is still all about my children.

S is in the crapper again and AGAIN it's because of lying. Helping to shape a young person's character is exhausting. I thought it was taxing to my sanity that I had to say "Say thank you" or "Eat with your mouth closed" 4,507,243 times a year, all the while thinking to myself (and occasionally saying out loud), "It's not like I've never told you this BEFORE!" But that was just developing manners. Repetition is almost guaranteed to work. The success in correcting this behavior is a crap shoot (heavy on the crap). You can repeat the mantra "Lying about doing something wrong is worse than the wrong thing you've done" a zillion times since they are young enough to understand it, but still they try.

This time S's nontruth involved teachers and school projects and made up data for a science competition. In reality, making up the data was probably harder work than just doing it the right way. As my friend Lynn, put it, it would be so much better if he wasn't such an Evil Genius and that he'd use his powers for good.

He has been taken off the honor roll and, thankfully, that means something to him. Learning about honor first-hand might (pleasepleasepleaseplease) make an impact on him to help understand what building character means. I'm hoping it does.

But I've had to remind myself how hard these years are when your body is ahead of your mind in development. Everything is all confused. I can remember thinking to myself, I want my mommy and in the very next breath wondering WHY she treated me like SUCH A CHILD.

Anyhoo, even though I would love to have this blog be more about things like baking, decorating, and hell, even organizing under my sink (I find all that domestic shit so soothing...), I guess this is life for me right now.

And I hope you stick with me.

The Gift

Every once in a great while, it happens. The planets align, the setting is right, the words are there.

A mother says the right thing to her upset child.

My beautiful 10 year old girl is hormonal. As in about- to-get-her-period hormonal. At least I think that's what it is. She's gotten it once, back in the summer, and the signs were the same: crying "for no reason," totally irritated by everything I say, and complaining of everything. Now, granted, this could've been M on any day of the week the six months before she got her period for the first time, but ever since then she's stablized and has been back to her sweet(er) self.

So the past two days I've seen the warning signs again and today she was worse. After yelling at her (I didn't say I was perfect) for being nasty, I told her to go get into my bed so we could talk. As we lay on our sides facing each other, I reminisced about being a preteen. Weepiness, easily hurt feelings, irritance at people (especially my mom), and a general yucky feeling. I had it all, I told her. And she looked at me and she listened.

Her complete attention was mine and though her face was blotchy from crying and I knew she was hurting, I loved it. I marveled at her beauty and I relished the moment. I couldn't help it. I know I'm on the edge of the precipice of REAL teenage girl behavior. I know the snuggles and the talks won't last, at least for awhile. So I gave myself the gift of enjoying the moment, even though it came out of M feeling bad.

The best part, though, was the fact that what I said worked. Those of you with little tiny kids are still in the phase where you are a rockstar. If Mommy says it'll be okay, it will. But the shine is off that rose (or whatever the hell that expression is) in our house and we never know if what we say will be listened to, let alone believed. But this time it was. And I just had to write it down so that some day (tomorrow? next week?) I can read this again when I'm feeling like the stupidest person in my family because I've been told I am by my teenager.

Handsome Husband Eats His Own Shorts

they're boxers!

HH got his Valentine present today and it did not disappoint. The cookies, from A Dozen Eggs, are ADORABLE and delicious. In fact, they taste as good as mine (and that's a real compliment from me!). I almost never order baked stuff because usually I look at something and say to myself, I could do that so why pay? But these cookies are delicious and impeccably decorated and packaged. It's amazing that their handmade because they're so perfect. I could never decorate with such detail and care. Laura is careful, creative, and, as a bonus, a really cool person with a great spirit. SO, I'm hoping everyone who reads this goes to her website and orders lots!

I thought I'd also post some of my own food porn. This is S's birthday cake from Sky High:Irresistable Triple-Layer Cakes by Alisa Huntsman. His favorite donut flavor is Boston Cream Pie so I thought he'd like the real thing for his birthday. The cake is a classic sponge and rose beautifully but didn't have a ton of flavor. I think next time I'll add a little more salt and a lot more vanilla. The pastry cream was fabulous and so was the chocolate glaze, although I think I'll make 1 1/2 times the recipe for it next time. I keep saying "next time" so I guess it's worth trying again if for no other reason than it was be-yoo-tiful. I love a high cake.

And here's an example of my stellar cookie decorating. I made these for M's Twilight-themed birthday party. Cute, right? What this picture doesn't capture, however, is the icing sliding off into the goodie bags because I was too impatient to let it dry completely. See what I mean about me leaving these things to the professionals?

And, just for fun, here's one of "M's" gifts. HH questioned who it was really for

because I am a pervy almost middle-aged woman.