How to NOT Write a Paper

• Make yourself toast even if you're not hungry.
• Make yourself a cup of tea.
• Send family to movies and then think about how weird it is that you wish you were going to see Edward again.
• Make another cup of tea.  And another one.
• Go to the bathroom 5 times.
• Brush your hair while in there.  Each time.
• Go to the bathroom again and put on more blush while in there even though no one is at home and you're not going anywhere.
• Go outside for firewood because you are cold.
• Watch dogs play outside in first snow of the season and realize that since your children are older and not as darling (bendable to will), you have replaced them in your heart with your pets just a little.
• Go get a sweatshirt with the name of your grad school on it so it not only makes you cozy and lethargic but also mocks you with its collegiate attitude.
• Start to write an outline.  Get distracted by the cool way you can bullet each item (ooh! daisies!).
• Go online to "research" more.  Get lost on Facebook playing Scramble.
• Blather incoherently about your topic and realize halfway through that your topic has magically changed.
• Quit and barely remember to SAVE even though it's crap anyway.
• Blog about it.