I Feel Just a Little Bit Dirty

After much anticipation, tonight was finally the night. After months of waiting. After months of discussing what we'd wear, what we'd see, where we'd sit. It was finally here. We were going to the Allentown Fair.

To see the Jonas Brothers.

In anticipation of the concert, my Handsome Husband brought home the only accessory I thought I'd need---ear plugs. I knew the place would be filled with girls--some in the throes of puberty, completely amped up on hormones, serotonin and maybe even pheromones (it's sweaty on that stage!). I was ready to deal. I was NOT going to be a fuddy-duddy and ask girls around us (M and best friend E included) to please don't scream in my ear.

Little did I know that I'd be screaming too. Here's why:

Ca-yute!

Now I'm not a complete perv. I know that this child is only 19. I also realize that, if HH and I wouldn't have been using reliable protection when I was 18, I am old enough to be this child's mother. I get that.

But look at him. He's adorable. That hair. Those eyes. Those forearms. Those eyebrows! I totally get why all those girls were screaming. It feels like not so long ago that I was absolutely sure that Bono was singing to me, that it was just us alone in the Spectrum in Philly during the Unforgettable Fire tour.

Huh. Look at that. Very similar hair to JJ...

All I could think then was that if Bono met me, he would absolutely love me just because I loved him. I was never a crier at concerts, but I felt everything very deeply--every song was about my life in some way.

So I'm admiring Joe, reminiscing about my own teen obsessions and watching the reaction of the girls around me and I admit that I even said "He's hot" at one point to my 9 year old daughter. But I soon realized that my biggest attraction to him and to the brothers in general was that they seem to be so nice. They're adorable, they're in very nice physical shape and they are nice. They seem to genuinely appreciate their fans, they bring their 7-year-old little brother out on stage and they talk nicely about their mom.

So I realize that I'm not some kind of Cougar having a midlife crisis. Nope. I've just got a maternal crush on Joe Jonas. I think he's adorable and I can see that girls would find him sexy but I'd rather be his mom than anything else. Whew! Thank god.

Judy, I know you know what I mean.

*Editor's note: Lynn, after hearing the "maternal crush" theory: "Just keep telling yourself that, Jen."